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The Fear of Being Loved
I'm afraid, ok?
I admit it,
I'm afraid,
Afraid of what you may ask?
I don't know,
Afraid of knowing,
Afraid of having the chance to get hurt,
That's why I never let people come close to me,
Let alone, make physical contact,
I end up hurting them just to keep them away,
I don't want to,
It just happens,
I'm afraid I'll get too close,
Afraid I'll loose something I loved,
Like all the others I lost before,
I'm afraid of asking,
Afraid of the answer being no,
I already know that's what they'll say,
No,
I don't THINK they'll say no,
I KNOW they'll say no,
I'm afraid,
Afraid of what it feels like to be loved,
Afraid to hold someones hand for the first time,
Afraid of what a first kiss is,
Afraid of being close,
Then it all comes back,
The fear of being hurt,
The fear of giving a chance,
The fear of loving,
The fear of touch,
I always try to stay away even though I want to see,
See what a hug is,
See what a hand to hold is,
See what it feels like to be kissed for the first time,
But the fear is always there,
Blocking my way,
The fear of being Loved.
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My crush,
My, life.